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Welcome to a very serious edition of this week’s Power Rankings presented by the Penkse Indycar Racing

 Team. In this edition we have to bravely call out a scandal that has taken place this week. Our league’s 

Deshaun Watson, Darrian, has ruined the trust within our league with his lying and cheating. We cannot sit 

silently by while this takes place. So our form of protest of his actions is to exclude him from this week’s

 power rankings, which is a first in history. Get wreck shithole.

Anyways speaking of bans this week’s theme is books that I believe should be banned.

1 Slant Boys

Book of Mormon

I’m not saying the Missouri Mormon War was justified or anything however I do know who’s side I was 

on. And I didn’t go to BYU. I’m not saying that it was correct that Mormons were banned from Missouri 

either. However I would appreciate if maybe they just banned their book. Just for fun maybe. Shits and 

giggles I suppose. Sully’s team is kinda a wagon, especially as long as McCaffery is out and Mason is killing

 it. His depth may be a bit troubling especially at the rate injuries are taking place this year. But until that

 happens he’s number one.

2 Cuffing Season

The Dictionary

 

Dictionaries are stupid. Ooh words wow how cool. Just fucking, I don’t know, figure it out dummy. 

Words are easy and if you disagree then get a life. The only reason Brian isn’t leading this week is the 

questions surrounding his Dolphins players now that their quarterback has only soup between the ears.

 However that could quickly change with the addition of a pro bowl quarterback for the Fish.

3 Cee Deez Nuts

The Boys Comic Books

Honestly I don’t really know all that much about The Boys comic books. I do enjoy the TV show though.

 The reason I want these banned is because Phil talked about it a lot and personally I thought it sounded

 quite odd. But not quite a good odd. Like a weird odd. Maybe it was just the way Phil talked about it. He does 

that often. Anyways Phil’s team is incredibly talented this year and because of that he can rise to the top of

 the mushy middle despite the lineup decisions made every week. However can a team relying on Tony Pollard

 and JK Dobbins’ ACLs really be a serious contender?

4 Washington Sewer Pipes

If You GIve a Mouse a Cookie

That Mouse is a fucking piece of shit. He is on the same level as Stuart Little, who took an adoption opportunity

 away from a child. We should not teach children how to be pestering shitheads like that rodent. Steven’s

 team looked quite insane going into the week, however injuries have dropped him down a few spots (common

 theme this year). That being said his team has good bones so he still finds himself in a good spot luckily.

5 Addison AssEaters

The Epic of Gilgamesh

People often remember the first of something but often times it kinda sucks and people just look past that.

 However here at the Weenie Hut Jr Post Gazette Times New Roman we only want quality. Since The Epic of

 Gilgamesh is considered the first book ever, it probably sucks. So why read it? My team is a paper tiger right

 now. Looking at it this team should be quite good and kinda showed that off. But until Kelce and Chase

 actually do anything this team is a borderline playoff team that could be a scary opponent.

6 Jesus Died For Your Zyns

Communist Manifesto

This ban has nothing to do with ideology or anything, it’s just that a classmate was obsessed with getting a

 copy in Russian which was really awkward and he made a really big deal about it. So just for that I think 

it should be banned to prevent other weird high schoolers from making that same mistake. Remember that 

theme about injuries plummeting teams down the rankings? I was very much referencing this team. 

Yikes. Who would’ve ever picked McCaffery where he did? Or Deebo? But hey he’s got Tank Bigsby.

7 New England Harbor Turds

How to Build an Atomic Bomb 

I don’t think this book actually exists, however that doesn’t matter. This book doesn’t really need an

 explanation as to why I think it should be banned. Atomic bombs have historically been considered bad.

 We probably don’t need anymore of those. Instead let’s use Patriot Missiles instead. I don’t even want to

 talk about Q’s team. It just hurts man. Watching the score of Q’s matchups is just like watching Hotel For Dogs.

8 No Chubb

2004 Pontiac Aztek Owner’s Manual

I found a copy of this on the internet which is fun. It’s a tribute to American automakers’ greatest failure. 

So we should totally scrub it from our history and pretend it never even happened. If we don’t 

acknowledge it ever happened then we’ll never make that same mistake again. Ethan’s team has such a

 good start to it’s roster, however the whole end of the roster is quite ugly and gross. Zeke probably should 

be starting on this team and that’s so pathetic.

9 McConkey Want Bong Bong

My Diary

My diary might be the only thing more pathetic than Mike’s team.