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i can only write if there is an impending deadline

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 The ghost of Benjamin Nen-yahoo came to me in a dream last night. He said to me, you have to make a power rankings before the season starts. I said, well they don't play on Wednesdays so I have another day. He said nuh uh they changed that this year. I said oh really. He said yes. I said well I don't wanna listen to you. He said yeah but you wanna write the power rankings still. I said yeah but it has nothing to do with you. He said well I'm telling you to. I said well now I don't want to. He said your friends will be disappointed and I know that because I came in their dreams too. I said ew gross. Then I woke up and wrote the power rankings 14 hours later.    1 New England Harbor Turds Mediterranean Gecko   I have to rank these fellas number 1 after I killed one last year unintentionally. This is my pathetic attempt at breaking the curse that I am convinced has been put upon me by the lizard spirits that surround us. These spirits drove Josh Jacobs to (allegedly) b...
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So You Want The First Overall Pick

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 Fellow racing fans, welcome to THE Weenie Hut Jr Post Gazette Times New Roman Annual Indy 500 Driver Breakdown Extravaganza (also known by it's acronym, TWHJPGTNRAI5DBE). This is for all you casual racing fans, or someone who doesn't even know that Prema is no longer racing in Indycar. Ha. That was a funny one. Ask basically anyone if you don't get it, it was pretty big news. Anyways, here's your breakdown to help select your driver this year. The Favorites Alex Palou   This is the most boring pick imaginable, but it basically guarantees you a top 3 selection. It is oval racing so anything could happen, however Palou is superhuman and his team appears to have figured out how to add a force field around his car so he barely ever gets crashed into. Last year he won the majority of the races and the Indy 500, so at this point it feels safe to set betting lines as Palou vs the field much like the world's best driver Mr. Tiger Woods.  Josef Newgarden   Do you want someo...
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2026 NFL Draft Ramblings

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Arizona Cardinals  (C-) Jeramiah Love maybe be first year Bijan all over again as this looking to be a genuine 2.5 rb backfield if they try to keep james conner or trey benson involved besides new signee of Allgeier. Kendrick Bourne only real pass catching shake up to this team but Love could take some easy safety net and designed screen volume away from Mcbride. This offense will be much the same in terms of being really well spread out the hope is for dynamic play to increase and touchdowns to go their way. Minschew and Beck aren’t true competition to Mr. Brissett  Atlanta Falcons (C) Just a reminder Tua will be the QB for a least a good portion of next year but he is on a tiny contract and could be kicked out fast. Tons of D-Line work and Sydney Brown trade should help defense stay middle of the pack Baltimore Ravens (B) Vega Ioane and Zion Young are great picks in early rounds but ravens traded down and ended up drafting a ton of filler low round picks No one was willing t...
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hmmmpppphhh oooooooh

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 Here at the Weenie Hut Jr Gazette Dispatch (gamer reference) Times Yelp Review Expert Times Post we celebrate Veterans Day in two ways. First, we blast dubstep renditions of military music all day. This is to honor soldiers both past and present. Second, we find any way to wedge in a joke about people thanking us for our service to my veteran coworkers who are JUST professional enough to not beat the ever living shit out of me on company time. The third thing we're doing to celebrate Veterans Day is power ranking the greatest battles in all of military history. Like, subscribe, and thank Darrian and I for our service.    1 Chubb, Chuba, n Chubby Me vs Poison Ivy     Quite possibly the greatest battle of all, one historians, writers, and the public have agreed upon as one of the three themes of life, man versus nature. A struggle we share with the cavemen of years past. A battle that shall be waged until the end of time or the end of man, whichever comes first. ...
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