Power Rankings to show you another world outside of football

 Is your team not doing too great in fantasy this year and you want to escape from the cruel world of football? Boy do I have 2 new time sinks for you this time of year. The League of Legends Worlds tournament is starting this weekend and NBA basketball is about to start its most turbulent season. I’ve ranked the league pro teams from best to worst on paper and assigned a vibes based NBA team to match with them. And then slapped the corresponding fantasy team next to them through a patented mathematically sound formula. So see your team’s ranking and find yourself a new couple of horses to hitch to for the duration of this fantasy season to relieve your eyes from the terror of having to watch Carnell Tate box lines. 

1.Gen. G (Cleveland Cavs)- Just Gibbs Me A Reason

 Gen G is The team of the regular season, they have top tier korean stars in all 5 roles and have kept a cohesive unit for years now. Touted as the best player in the world, Chovy the mid laner for this team has constantly been the best player that always fails to reach that next level in securing post season glory against Faker and T1. The Cleveland Cavs fit this to a T, top 2 team in the regular season in the east for years but never seen as a threat in the post season due to years of choking. And they are still failing to escape the shadow of the GOAT Lebron. Also matching this formula of regular season performance but no one is worried about in the post season is Andy’s team. History has shown Andy is a shaky coach and has failed to reach the upper echelon of this league but this may be his most talented team in years. Can he reach new levels or will he choke with 1 bad Lions performance in the post season.

2.BLG (Miami Heat)- TD Merchants

 BLG is a super team, China’s all star team meant to rival the Korean domination. Problem is that they are mad unreliable any given game they can stomp your favorite team or lose to Maryville University Esports (who have beat low tier US pro teams and may qualify to become a pro org). When I think of wildly inconsistent teams I think of Sully and I think of this new Giannis lead Miami Heat. The 2 headed giant of Bam and Giannis will go nuts in some games but their lack of guards means they can easily give up games. How far will Josh Allen and K walk go this year for Sully and will his poor role players step up.

3.HLE (Sixers)- Cee Deez Nuts

 The favorite to win this year as they are not only a super team of Koreans they’ve also recruited a 3 time champion ADC in Gumayusi this year. Showing already great promise in winning the mid season championship HLE seem poised to win it all but surely it can’t be that easy. Surely you can’t add Lebron to an already good team and add even more help in Jaylen Brown and just win it all right. Phil seems to be the team to win this year, he won last year with several of these same players and got to add CMC this time round. Surely that’s easy dub right, no reason to be worried that CMC will fall apart at the end of year and the strategy of picking the guys no one likes won't fail eventually. 

4.T1 (Knicks)- 2019 LSU Tigers

 You know them, you love them, the fans wont let you forget them, it's T1 and the Goat of all Goats T1 and Faker. Running back, mainly the same squad from the championship last year T1 is looking good but Faker is starting to show some weakness in his 13th season. But the surge of new power in the young star Peyz in ADC to replace Gumayusi seems to be going well. Can the Knicks run it back with the same squad, can this young squad continue to grow, and will they be like Faker and when the post season hits enter into a different mode. Jalen Brunson has the same Aura as the unkillable demon king right now so it could hit. Wahle last year's biggest loser has some star studded veterans in JJ and Chase in his line up and the young star of the season in Likely. All he needs is to make it to the dance and I could see it being his year, but just like T1 my heart wants it but I’m not putting any money on it. 

5. Anyone’s Legend (Nuggets)- New England Harbor Turds

 This team has the ability to win the championship but it rests entirely on the shoulders of the jungling goat Tarzan. Much like the Nuggets this year if Jokic can pull off a top tier performance in the playoffs he makes his ok team look like a bunch of all stars. But he is the engine of that team and can’t afford a bad night. In an equal predicament is Q, Bijan is electric and can score better then most teams QB and top option each week but if Bijan fails what’s around him this year? Can you trust Nico Collins to stay healthy, and the tandem of Garret Wilson and Golden to perform enough in the playoffs if Bijan falters. 

6.G2 (Spurs)- Women Respecters

 G2 is Europe’s golden child, the team with talent that everyone roots both for to go far and to fail because they are hailed as the last chance for the west and have really failed to push past being the best of the rest for a long time. So you’re happy that they can compete with the Koreans but a little salty and hope they fail because it’s funny that they seem to think they’re the only ones that can. Everyone was excited the Spurs could rival the Thunder but then they got cocky, and people remembered they got a stinky frenchmen and are basically the patriots of the NBA in terms of orgs and suddenly people remembered that you should hope they fail. Weirdly the formula chooses Derek as the team everyone somewhat roots for but secretly everyone hates to see succeed. That’s weird because everyone loves Derek and respects his stance on begging for Josh Jacobs to save his fantasy team this year.

7.DK (Clippers)- Washington Sewer Pipes

DK is a top tier Korean team and have shown strong performances in beating top teams like T1, HLE, BLG. So why might you ask, are they so low down and compared to the Clippers, a team that has been stripped of all resources for cheating? Well DK was found to be such a poverty org from mismanagement at the corporate level  that the league of legends team’s performance in the mid season tournament decided if the the billion dollar multi sport org would survive. The team was so poor that the players were caught raiding the provided snacks table and loading up as much food into their backpacks as they could every event as it was their only means of getting food because the org failed to provide them with a salary for months. And even with all this struggle DK placed in the final four in MSI and won a korean tourney and managed to stay a float. We will see how the Clippers perform this year on their rations of a team, and see if the sewer pipes can continue their recent success to crawl their way to post season glory. We will survive. 

8.TLAW (Lakers)- 2 Pain 2 Rogaine

You know the white boy Lakers, a young team with a lot of question marks but the talent to make a deep run. TLAW has been a consistent factor in NA esports for years and this year's team is probably their best chance for a Worlds championship, but it would take a real miracle run for them to go deep. Brian has JSN, Nabers and post season Chase Brown to punch up to the top teams but realistically will a team still staring Marshawn Lloyd really make it far this year. 

9.Team Secret Wales (Minnesota Timberwolves)- day one or one day

This is my favorite team. They won’t win but they play the most crazy characters and still win a ton of games. TSW will hit you with a character you haven’t played against in years and emote on your 0/10 corpse. Lamelo and Ant will be the most electric offense in the league and probably the most Tech’d team as they taunt every dunk with a finger pistol gun shot to their posterized victim. They probably won't go far this year but have a real chance to make a couple of upset wins in the playoffs. Darrian won't reach the playoffs but when that Tre Tucker 30 bomb gets added by Andy 3 days after the game to decide the Sacko championship it will hit like crack. 

10. Top Esports (Golden State Warriors)- Indianapolis Glue Factory

China’s 3rd rate team. Because they’re a Chinese team they will do annoyingly well but no one is rooting for this team and hoping they just lose out to not disrupt the more fun western teams. Warriors are a joke of a dead dynasty that nobody is rooting for, we respect them but nobody actually hopes they make it to the playoffs and get good enough to knock off a fun team like the T-wolves. Man this team mike is fielding sad, is anyone including mike hoping for Aaron Jones, Rhamondre Stevenson and Hunter Henry to have a good year. It can happen but come on, cut off the elderly and grab someone stupid and fun like Darnell Washington lose with some pizzazz.