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I know that the loyal readers of this site look for very cerebral breakdowns of this league that include thought 

provoking themes. Those include such amazing ideas such as Tires, Celebrity DUIs, and the classic from former 

esteemed writer Andy: …yeah I would. However this week you shall get no such list. It is merely things I need

 to remember for an upcoming trip. If anybody bitches about this coming out on Wednesday I will shit in your 

pillow case.

However Counter: 9 (I noticed I like this word)

1 Jesus Died For Your Zyns

Phone Charger

Honestly the list for the theme can end here. Everything else is just icing on the cake. But then there would be a

 ton of icing on the cake. Maybe the phone charger is just the batter? I’m not certain, I mostly just eat cake and 

don’t spend much time thinking about the ingredients. Unless the cake has nuts. Then I do think about the

 ingredients. But only the portion of the ingredients that have to do with nuts. The citizens of Zynbabwe have a

 lot to cheer for this year. First in the standings. A lot of points for. No lack of veteran leadership. Both Pittsburgh

 running backs. The man still in possession of the last place trophy is looking at getting both trophies this year 

assuming he still never gets around to shipping the toilet bowl.

2 Slant Boys

Toiletries Bag

 

This part of the packing list is the most important for everybody else on the trip. It’s quite easy to go nose blind to

 your own rancid stench, however from personal experience I can confirm it is quite easy to smell other people. 

Andy. So if you forget this bad boy you immediately find yourself at the bottom of the “people on this trip” power

 rankings. Quotes from the Slant Boys this week include “I’m gonna lose” and “This week sucks” yet they still 

won. Very cool. My vote for a rule change next year is that if you say “I’m gonna lose this week” and still win it

 gets forfeited for being a crying little bitch.

3 Addison AssEaters

Condoms

You may see this and think man the writer of this article is gonna have a great weekend. However I can ensure you

 that that will not be the case. These condoms are for when the disc golf course anally fucks be in a rough and

 uncaring sort of way. At least this keeps me from getting rectal poison ivy. I fucking hate fantasy football. It’s 

the fucking worst. Fuck. First in points for. 500 record. My life is a fucking nightmare. I’m considering tasting 

cashews one last time.

4 Youngway Kooter

Disc Golf Shoes

The quintessential part of any disc golfer is their shoes. Red ones make you throw farther. Blue means you have

 better control. Green gives you lucky kicks off the trees. White is a stupid color for disc golf shoes, they’ll get 

dirty really fast. Mine are blue. I don’t care that the koochies lost this past week, I’ll still rank them high. They’re

 putting up a great fight and the injury luck is swinging big time in their favor. Now it might just be a temporary

 boost and they could fall come playoff time, but the early wins have put them in a prime spot to contend for a bye 

in the first round.

5 Cee Deez Nuts

A Large Amount of Beer

If you go on a trip and don’t consume enough beer to feel bloated for a week did you really go on a trip? My 

answer is no because I’m an alcoholic. I have recently learned that if you don’t keep drinking after the trip you

 will likely not feel that bloated for that long. However that will remain just a theory. Earlier in the year I said this 

team is always in that 3-5 range, always in the mix but not always THE contender. They are now 6th in the

 standings. However I will use that earlier blurb as enough evidence to keep this team 5th in the power rankings 

because if I do that then I remain correct. And no one can stop me.

6 Washington Sewer Pipes

Deodorant

See toiletry bag. Most people have one in their toiletry bag but I don’t because I don’t have a travel size one 

because the regular size ones are small enough to go through TSA so I don’t really see the need to have a small 

size one because that doesn’t make sense to me. That may be the longest run-on sentence about deodorant in

 history. I am going to make the claim that this team is carried by none other than their kicker Brandon Aubrey. 

Is that necessarily true? No idea. Is Brandon Aubrey outscoring the #5 receiver on the year Justin Jefferson? Yes.

 Verdict: I’m right yet again. I know ball. Do not check the spread picks.

7 Big Man Blastoise (please stop changing names everybody especially when you include hard to spell words)

Clothes

Some people call clothes an essential for a trip. Those people are called everybody. However I would like to 

point out the original people of this world, the hunter gatherers, packed quite light and probably did not lug a

 suitcase full of clothes around with them. Which is why it falls so low on these rankings. Has a team that ever

 started 0-5 in league history ever made the playoffs? Research (just guessing) says no. However this team has al

l the talent because of all of the one sided trades made benefiting this team. Just going .500 would take a 6-2 run 

which isn’t the craziest thing ever, however any unlucky weeks at this point probably spells the end of them.

8 New England Harbor Turds

Disc Golf Bag

I know everybody is thinking that a bag full of discs is probably more important than disc golf shoes for a disc golf 

trip. But reader I can ensure you, I can play just as crappy with any disc I find compared to the ones I already have.

 This is truly an archer over arrow situation. My shoes at least look quite cool. Two weeks into the season

 everybody bemoaned the unfortunate luck of this team for the whole season. Would they ever win a game despite

 the great talent? Well here they are, sitting 4-2 with the least points for. Luckier than a leprechaun. Wild.

9 Tua**** Squad

Cooler

Coolers are very important for many things. Tailgates. Picnics. People that work jobs without a fridge to put their 

lunch in. However, I do not deserve cold beers after my shit rounds I will be enduring. Can’t wait for hot car 

Yuenglings this weekend. Brian will somehow win this league yet again because the script writers demand it but 

I haven’t quite figured out how that’ll be possible. I can’t wait until he says oh remember when you ranked me so l

ow. Well guess what future Brian, your team currently sucks. Actually he won’t say any of that, I’m pretty sure 

he doesn’t read these because he’s illiterate.

10 Begging For Mercy

The Duffel Bag Itself

Duffel bag goes without saying for most people. But after looking at this team’s roster I feel like it needs to be 

explicitly said because no one with a roster like this is capable of having the thought to put clothes IN the bag 

without being told. My only question is does this team owner know to wipe after pooping? Usually here I write 

more about the team but I think the duffel bag part covered that.