Posts

my coworker has a sign on his desk that says the best part of my job is that my chair spins but he's not even a boomer

Image
 My spotify icon on my laptop desktop is a shortcut to the installer not the app which is bullshit and I'm listening to sad bluesgrass while watching sports most heartbreaking moments on my tv. Let's get this fucking bread. 1 Cee Deez Nuts Joey Chestnut Joey Chestnut needs to introduction. This man should be not only in the food eating hall of fame, but also the baseball hall of fame because we all know hot dogs are a vital part to the game. He's chowed down more weiner than all of y'all's moms combined. And speaking of Nuts these fellas are peaking harder than Dennis Reynolds. And wait, this just in, McCaffery is projected back this week. That is breaking news. I broke that. No one else has mentioned it yet. 2 Addison AssEaters Paul McBeth 6 time world champ. Greatest season of all time. First professional disc golf millionare. Owns a McClaren. Married the only attractive disc golfer at the time. What can't this guy dude (besides dominate a sport people have ...
Post a Comment
Read more

why do i have to piss so much when I'm trying to stay hydrated

Image
 Here at the Weenie Hut Junior Gazette Times Scottsdale Post Incorporated we never make mistakes. My parents may have with my birth but that is a whole different topic of conversation that I would discuss with a therapist if I needed one. But I don't. Don't worry about it. I'm fine. However we have almost made some mistakes with the themes we have almost used. So here are the themes that have just missed the cut (and I might use next season once you forget about this ranking). 1 Cee Deez Nuts First 10 Girls on Tinder   Yeah so this one I initially thought would be funny at first thought however after further thought (meaning the second thought that crossed my mind) it would be probably pretty creepy. Most accounts on Tinder are bots these days anyways so I may do a bot rankings at some point but yeah using pictures of random girls on a dating app has been decided to be a no go. The Nuts have been creeping up the standings with a bit of a win streak going on and a team that ...
Post a Comment
Read more

gods punishment is that I must keep writing

Image
 Now that it is the Tuesday evening following a win, I must face the impending fate that is losing my next game. Also mom found the piss drawer so I must write these quick before she finds me because I'm grounded from the internet. Theme: Fictional Sports Teams 1 Washington Sewer Pipes Halifax Highlanders   Can we take a moment to recognize that these jerseys and the logo are actually pretty sick. Also if I didn't put Halifax first 3 people in this league would throw flaming shit through my window. Steven's team is back to full strength and has established itself as THE team to beat. Turns out the Pipes are only good in even years, but when they are good they're insane. 2 Addison AssEaters Average Joes   While this team may be called the Average Joes, they're anything but average. For example, the average person does not play dodgeball as an adult. Nor do they let elderly men in wheelchairs bully them. The AssEaters just can't quite get going this year. On one h...
Post a Comment
Read more

cum

Image
I know that the loyal readers of this site look for very cerebral breakdowns of this league that include thought  provoking themes. Those include such amazing ideas such as Tires, Celebrity DUIs, and the classic from former  esteemed writer Andy: …yeah I would. However this week you shall get no such list. It is merely things I need  to remember for an upcoming trip. If anybody bitches about this coming out on Wednesday I will shit in your  pillow case. However Counter: 9 (I noticed I like this word) 1 Jesus Died For Your Zyns Phone Charger Honestly the list for the theme can end here. Everything else is just icing on the cake. But then there would be a  ton of icing on the cake. Maybe the phone charger is just the batter? I’m not certain, I mostly just eat cake and  don’t spend much time thinking about the ingredients. Unless the cake has nuts. Then I do think about the  ingredients. But only the portion of the ingredients that have to do with nuts. T...
Post a Comment
Read more