Weenie Hut Jr.

  Here at the Weenie Hut Jr. Gazette Times we saw that last week’s theme was by far the most popular we’ve had so far. Therefore the only obvious conclusion that can be made is that you guys just like crime themed themes. That’s the only possible explanation, nothing else comes to mind.  This week’s theme: Worst Crimes to Exist 1 MS Sentient Turds Time theft We are in a recession. So for a greedy employee to use their time for non-working activities while GETTING PAID is an absolute outrage! It’s like they want their coworkers to get laid off. No I don’t care that your “sick mother” is calling because “she needs to go to the hospital”. She shouldn’t get sick while you’re at work. Greedy pieces of shit. Speaking of pieces of shit this turds are burgling the rest of the league out of wins because god dammit they’re good. Too bad the water there looks at shitty as the turd costume the mascot wears. 2 Butker I Hardly Even Know Her Embezzlement  Companies work very hard to ear...

  With how often I talk about drinking and driving people may think that I do that quite a bit. I’m not gonna make that claim publicly. I am just a red-blooded true American that enjoys freedom. I think you know what that means. And here are more examples of true Americans. Brian  Tony LaRussa He’s a hall of fame person, and this is a hall of fame team. Tony only has 2 DUIs, but only one in which he was able to inform the arresting officers that he was in the Hall of Fame. The number 1 is important. It’s the ranking of this team, and it’s the amount of days Tony spent in jail for his offense (he was granted work release and home detention, so no jail actually). Q  Marcell Ozuna Legendary DUI. Man had a box of open glass coronas while doing 90 in a 35. There’s booze cruising and then there’s this. But he didn’t crash, just like I kinda thought this team would crash due to its history of finding everywhere possible way to lose with a good team and then they didn’t. Anyways ...

  Hey guys it’s almost Halloween. Like yeah there are a couple power rankings before Halloween but I’ve decided on this theme this week for a multitude of reasons. And by that I mean I’ll either forget or think of something better Halloween related later anyways so this keeps the door open for that. DEREK’S BIGGEST FEARS 1 MS Sentient Turds Boobies Ahhh no not titties. Oh no they’re so scary. Nothing would scare me more this Halloween than if women sent me pictures of their boobs. Whatever you guys do don’t tell your lady friends to send me pictures of their tits so that I DON’T get really scared. Anyways Q’s team is a beautiful as a nice rack. 2 Brian for the love of god just choose a team name it’s not that hard jesus fucking christ My mortality Some day I’m gonna die. Then what? Maybe this fear is better labeled as fear of the unknown. Maybe it’s the fear of meeting my creator. Whatever it is I’m petrified. I suppose that’s no way to live but I suppose it’s a bit late for that. ...

  Hockey is back and I couldn’t think of a better theme so here you go, random Blues from the 21st century (and by that I mean since like ‘06ish cuz I only chose guys I actually remember playing). In typical guys being dudes fashion I didn’t look anything up because when naming random former fringe players that’s not allowed. BLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUES HOCKY 1 Andy - Carlo Colaiacovo He’s back. It pains me to put him here but I couldn’t not this time. So anyways Colaicovo was part of one of the most underrated lopsided trades in recent NHL history when he and Steen were dealt for Lee Stempniak. He was a rock solid defender for the Blues for quite a few years. Gotta love this man. Sick name too. Now I’m pretty sure he does radio and says some stuff sometimes. 2 Q - Ian Cole I really like Ian Cole because back in the day I went to so many practices at the Mills and he was one of the nicest players then. I have probably a dozen Ian Cole autographs hanging around. (I looked this p...

  I would like to go on record saying I had an absolutely banger of an idea for the theme this week. Russell Wilson Bathrooms. I was even gonna rank Witz’s former team and the All-Darrian-Drop team to get all 12 bathrooms involved. Alas, I could not find a house tour with bathroom pictures. It honestly ruined my week. Here’s an image of one of his Seattle bathrooms just for shits (that’s a pun because people often shit in bathrooms) and giggles:  So I had to move to my backup theme. 1 MS Sentient Turds Geno Smith The man who did it. He didn’t write back baby. Just like Geno, this team was written off. They can’t win. They always blow it. They’re probably not potty trained. Yet here they are. Number 1. Dawgs. Talkin’ Shit can’t talk a lotta shit right now cuz these guys are unstoppable. 2 Brian Robinson Nick Foles Former Rams player Big Dick Nick (can’t relate personally) is a dawg. My man stepped up, won a super bowl, still back up. The absolute pinnacle of being a back up wit...