gods punishment is that I must keep writing

 Now that it is the Tuesday evening following a win, I must face the impending fate that is losing my next game. Also mom found the piss drawer so I must write these quick before she finds me because I'm grounded from the internet.

Theme: Fictional Sports Teams

1 Washington Sewer Pipes

Halifax Highlanders

 

Can we take a moment to recognize that these jerseys and the logo are actually pretty sick. Also if I didn't put Halifax first 3 people in this league would throw flaming shit through my window. Steven's team is back to full strength and has established itself as THE team to beat. Turns out the Pipes are only good in even years, but when they are good they're insane.

2 Addison AssEaters

Average Joes

 

While this team may be called the Average Joes, they're anything but average. For example, the average person does not play dodgeball as an adult. Nor do they let elderly men in wheelchairs bully them. The AssEaters just can't quite get going this year. On one hand they haven't lost back-to-back games this year, they have also win 2 straight. A .500 record should be good enough to make the playoffs especially with the points for, but still this team in theory should contend for a bye. 

3 Jesus Died For Your Zyns

Santa Barbara Seabirds

 

For those of you who may be uncultured swine this is the fictional baseball team Wade Boggs becomes the hitting coach for in the show Psych. Great show, highly recommend. There's nothing like an early season loss to your rival. Kinda stings extra sharp. Luckily for this team they can just open the standings and not at all scroll since they're at the top. 

4 Youngway Kooter

Flint Tropics

 

I watched this movie on a plane somewhere. Honestly don't remember a whole lot about it since all I could focus on was how weird it was to see Woody Harrelson with hair. For as much shit as this team received early in the season for lucking into some wins, they've steadily improved as the season has progressed. It is still one of the stranger rosters in the league but it's been effective lately. 

5 Cee Deez Nuts

MC State Statesmen

 

Another deep cut, this is the football Channing Tatum plays for in 22 Jump Street. I think they're pretty good maybe and they have one of those cool helmet cars. The Nuts. Middle of the road record. Points for are pretty mid. Unoriginal team name. Will win the championship and won't stop talking about it all summer. 

6 Big Man Blastoise

Team Iceland

 

I haven't seen this movie but I just find it funny that The hockey powerhouse is from Iceland just because they have ice in their country name. Does that country even have an ice rink? The Blastioses would have to go on a crazy run to get themselves into the playoffs but with every win they rack up it becomes that much more likely. They do have the talent to do it. Big chance they're the scary 6 seed no one wants to play. 

7 Slant Boys

Springfield Nuclear Plant Softball Team

 

I imagine George Steinbrenner would run his slow pitch softball team in a very similar manner as that guy in the Simpsons. Meaning that no one would have any fun being on that team. The Slant Boys may have a winning record so far but they have slowly been slipping down the standings with some disappointing performances. They've gotta get this turned around after a pretty big loss to their rivals.

8 New England Harbor Turds

Benchwarmers

 

I've never seen the beginning of this movie so I had to look this up. This team is the bottom of the mushy middle after an incredibly unlucky start to the year. They've had some luck fall to them since then but they'll need to continue getting lucky if they wanna make the playoffs. 

9 Begging For Mercy

Rich Energy F1

 

While this team technically was real it was such a fever dream that I can't really in good faith declare them real. The company was fictional so that's close enough. This team has failed up a spot because they are by no means better than they were before. They still suck. How did I lose to them? 

10 Tuacide Squad

Monstars

 

Blew a big lead. Anyways no other team has scored below 70 points this year. This team has scored below 60 twice. That's one hell of a championship hangover.