Weenie Hut Jr.

           Our organization understands that it's fans expect a level of excellence that is not being performed on the field. And even though our devoted following have unitedly accepted this season's hardship as an experimental year that had the aim in raising our volatility but was unfortunately undercut by severe injuries. our Leadership still believes that change needs to be made.        A controversial name change occurred last off season in the changing of the name Washington Sewer Pipes to the NJ Chubb Piercings. At the time there was backlash that our historical name mocked victims of involuntary poo showers, and because of this we too quickly took this outcry as concesus public opinion and changed our name to fit our new captains.        After meetings with leaders of both the First Plumbers Nations and NVIPS ( national victims of involuntary poo showers) and of course with you the faithful fans we have com...

  So with the recent Corey Perry news I have to be a responsible news outlet and not overreact to unfounded rumors about an athlete who may or may not have boned his rookie teammate’s mom. And I’m not saying he did. Because that would be irresponsible. Anyways here’s the theme. ATHLETES THAT DEFINITELY BONED TEAMMATES MOMS/WIVES/GIRLFRIENDS  This was the worst theme I’ve chosen. I feel disgusting after doing that research. I hope no one that wrote any of the articles I read actually claim to be journalists because they made me want to claw my eyes out. 1 Return of the King  Delonte West So fucking your teammate’s mom is one thing, but to do so with the whole locker room except for him knowing is something else. But to make matters even crazier, the teammate in question was Lebron James. That is some unheard of adversity to overcome, which Lebron did not in the 2010 playoffs when he was really bad after apparently finally finding out. He then left for Miami. There are clai...

  My little sister is a really slow driver so you can imagine my predicament when I was in the car when she was driving back from my other sister’s apartment (the older one) and I suddenly really had to pee. Unfortunately she didn’t have the customary pee bottle available in the car so I had to hold it. PLACES TO PEE Brian Somewhere at a high elevation with a great view There ain’t nothing like being at the top of the world, which is where Brian’s team is currently. And something  about taking a nice hearty piss there is just perfect. I imagine when God created the world, the first thing he  must’ve done is stand on a ledge above creation and make it rain. Andy Fresh Snow The term making your mark of course first originates from being able to pee in fresh snow and write whatever  you’d like on a perfect blank canvas. Andy’s team took the blank canvas at the time of the draft and wrote his  name all over. Which is surprising given Andy’s lack of accuracy while ta...

  I am very just done with this week man. It’s because it’s veterans day was this last weekend. 1 Brian - Simo Häyhä The white death. He killed a lot of Soviets and no one could kill him. Pretty badass. The picture is just a white picture because he was the white death. Brian’s team is good. 2 Andy - Wojtek the Bear Wojtek was a bear that the Polish drafted to their army because he was just a chill dude who liked to drink beer and carry boxes. Andy’s team is also good. 3 Q - Audie Murphy  His wikipedia page comes up when you search coolest soldiers of all time. That’s all I really know but that’s good enough to rank him here. Q’s team is very poopy but in a good way because they are the Turds. 4 Phil - Jack Churchill Jack had the last recorded longbow kill in military history, taking place during World War II. He also enjoyed playing the bagpipes while throwing grenades. Absolute Chad. Phil’s team is below mine in points for which is kinda embarrassing. 5 Darrian - Darrian I d...

I have a very important deadline for work that I need to finish up today, so naturally I decided to write a guest article for the 10 other readers of weeniehutjr (I see you ass commish Witz). I went through everyone's rosters for the first 9 weeks of our season and found the following below by selecting the two highest skill position players off each person's bench (WR, RB, or TE). I find this data interesting for two reasons: 1. This conclusively proves how laughable it was that Brian and I made the championship last year, as we are far and away the worst at roster management. 2. I took a very long time writing all this down, so I sunk cost myself into thinking it was worth my time. Anyways, here's everyone's worst week: Return of the King (Brian): worst benching: Week 7, D'Onta Foreman difference in outcome: Wins 100ish to 98 vs. losing by 15 if he substitutes Foreman for either of his RBs this week analysis: I guess it's hard to justify starting D'Onta Fo...

I want everybody to know that I fucking hate you guys. Brian was the only team that was ranked high last week that didn’t fucking suck. I don’t wanna rank any of you 2nd. This made me very angry. To calm myself the theme is a group of my heroes. DIVORCED GUYS 1 Brian Rob Quinlivan I do not know if this is the correct Rob, I just googled his name and it’s been a long time since I’ve seen him so like maybe this is him? Everybody’s favorite divorced guy. He is a group legend. He is the only divorced guy to have a son in the Boy’s Hall of Fame (citation needed). Anyways I’ve made Brian a juggernaut. He will not put up less than 100 until the first round of the playoffs. Third place here he comes. T4 Q Albert Pujols Who can forget this legend divorcing his wife and announcing her brain cancer in the same statement. But I heard that Deidre was a bitch and his new wife is the daughter of the former president of the Dominican Republic which probably is cool. Also she’s hotter than his ex wi...